Royalty jokes
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
"Echhh!"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
King.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Once a knight was called a "kuhnigitt," that's because he was one!
Where did the king hide his armies?
In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
The king took a shit on the craps table at the casino.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.