Routine

Routine Jokes

Vegetable

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?

Daveon

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

Workout

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

People

Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.

Dentist

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

Meat

Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.

They both routinely place meat in small buns.

Morning

The first ever joke:

https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning?

Shit

Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.

Doc: What's wrong with that?

Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.

Vegan

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

Morning

Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!

1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.

Shit

You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...

Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...

Food

You know why morning food digests so quickly.

Because it breaks fast.

Job

The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."

The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."