I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal sized eyes.

How do you make holy water?

You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. – But he’s still making fun of me.

Is it normal my emo cousins hobby is tying himself to train tracks.

in normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade “refresh yourself with a cold war.”

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you’re a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

Depressed people have beautiful smile. Ok, its not joke for normal people, but its joke for us

What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest? You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid’s until he’s 13 years old.

The Cheerio Joke

Let’s say you’re in high school, and your popularity level was badlsed on what Cheerio you are. So there’s Extra-Frosty cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there’s the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there’s your cheerio which is the Chocolate cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who’s an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines. So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes. The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she’s going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; “Oh there want a punch line.”

Vegans:Save the Earth Normal People:Were trying to but you guys keep eating it

My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam. That being said I wish he hadn’t!

What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid, jimmy is fat

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

So a guy walks into gas station and walks to the person working and says “can I have a kitcat chuncky” so she gets him one and then he says “no I want a normal kitcat you fat bitch”.

In normal country you call it Yugoslavia. In soviet Russia its call aregoslavia.

In normal country you call it Yugoslavia. In soviet Russia its called yugostravia.

Normal Europe : Oh no, I lost my iphone… Amish : Oh no, I lost my potato

what do you call 1 normal kid,and 2 retarded kids,smoking weed? pot roast.

I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

Big foot is just a normal person who covered himself in pritt stick and went down on susan boyle