Routine jokes
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his ass.
What goes in hard and comes out soft? A toothbrush.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
You’re the type of person who would pee before a shower.
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."
The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."
Toothbrush: I think I have the worst job ever.
Toilet paper: Ya, right.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
My day started out great until I woke up.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
Hey guys, I use toilet paper.
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Good morning!