Procedure jokes
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.
Thank you, nurse!
I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office? Only one of them is scared.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.