Routine jokes
Yo mama is so hairy that she uses a lawn mower to shave.
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.
The first ever joke:
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning?
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.