Roof Jokes

why was the dog stealing shingles?

he wanted to be a woofer

One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF!

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."

What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?

Diddler on the Roof.

What did niki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?

Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you.

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on makes it off the roof.

My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad if you're up there

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: "You told me to aim up high".

Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof

I'm having lunch on the roof of twin towers and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying towa

Hot shingles in your neighbourhood wanting to get nailed.

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what it favorite animal. They said a bird. I asked for reason. It because they both jump off roofs.

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of you mouth, while the other one doesn't!

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp of a roof

I walked into a store and I pointed a stick to the roof and i said"this is a stick up"

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”