Roof

Roof Jokes

jack and jill went up the hill jack fell down his *ss was bound, and jill continued up the hill jack came back and beat jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.

Tim and Tom where at work Tim say I sick of this I going to act like a idot to get sent home so Tim was on the roof saying I am a light bulb the boss walk in and say Tim go home your acting like a dick the the say Tom why you packing up for he says I can't work in the fucking dark can I

What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet A.11 A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T

Mrs Kadie- I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets. Duddy- sup FGTEEVERS me and James Marsden just got some Chick-filla. Viewers- Got ya again Mrs Kadie . Mrs Kadie- Vincent and James I am going to push you off your roof Duddy and James- AHHHHHHH

Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!

This city slicker broke down on a country road, he look around and in the distance he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there he asked the farmer if he has a phone he could use because his had no reception. The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married and the farmer said if you marry my daughter I’ll give you half my farm...the guy said lemme see her...the farmer hollered “hey you” get over here...and she said duh ok. The ol boy looked at her and said nooo thank you. The father said I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....the ol boy thought for a minute and said “we’ll I guess I can put a sack over her head” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything. One day the guy was up fixin the roof and Holland hey you get me some nails...his wife said duh nails, nails he said yes nails and showed her one she said “oh dun nails nails” he said yes nails. So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb and he yells oh F. . . It! and she turned and Hollered Duh A Sack A Sack Duh A Sack!

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says "Sorry, It was an axe-cident!"