Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Roast Jokes
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
I punched you so hard that I'll call you "Droppy Pussy."
My friend: "Yo, stupid."
Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"
My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."
Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
Balls.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Ass.
I wanna die.
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
