Roast jokes
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
Use the roast I put of flat earth.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
Someday you'll go far.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
Your mouth looks like it came from the commercials.
I wanna die.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.