Roast jokes
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."
Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.
You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).
Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
Trevor is a bitch.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
I love balls, bro. So do you.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
You're built like a double cheeseburger.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.