Roast jokes

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.

Me: And I don't speak idiot language.

Trevor is a bitch.

Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!

Roast

You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!

I love balls, bro. So do you.

You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.

You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

You look too old to be living with your grandma.

Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."