Roast jokes

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.

Me: And I don't speak idiot language.

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

Trevor is a bitch.

Roast

You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!

I love balls, bro. So do you.

You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.

You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

You're built like a double cheeseburger.

You look too old to be living with your grandma.

Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"