Robin Williams’ death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed)
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee, his dad sees this and says "i saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies "i don't care, i don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says " i saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little johnny replies "I don't care, i don't like butter anyway." Both little johnny and his dad go in for dinner, johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. little johnny looks and smiles and says "do you want to tell her or should i?"
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip.
his last words: paint dosent taste good
My grandpa died during world war II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have every seen. RIP.
jack and jill went up a hill to smoke weed jack and jill got high and jack ripped jills close right off her then jill ripped jacks close off jack wen they were fully naked they started to kiss but jack stoped jill said i know you wana jack said no but jill jumped on that candy stick any way jack gave in to jill. jill got off then let jack suck her candy stick jill sucked on jacks candy stick
jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool then jack came in and asked jill if she wanted to ride in his new car she said i have to think then jack said at least let me by you a drink after 5 drinks he asked again this time she said yes so they got in the car and jack and jill roed up a hill to to jacks home then jack said (close your eiys i got a supries )so jack lead jill to his room then said open your ies so jill opend her iese then jack got them some red wine jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and jack said i know you wana she said no way so jack gave her one more drink then she passed out then jack ripped all his close off then he did the same to jill then he did it till 3am
My arm: IM GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT
girl: rip mother i love you me: sorry for you’re loss girl: stop I have a boyfriend me: stop I have a mother
Rip Candace
why didint the teddy bear want to go to the gym
:Because he didnt wasnt to get ripped
Little Johnny's sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, "That is my garage". The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?" Suzy says, " Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P
I like you you like me let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun Barney’s on the floor no more purple dinosaur 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking..
Abandon ship!
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I one-der why he did that. He did that on purpose two trick me then I met him in the threes
An orphan goes up to someone the guy ses were are you parents
the orphan ses why do you think im wearing ripped pyjamas
if you ever had your nipple ripped of by a possum, you might be a redneck...
Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.
Guy 2: Is it a hard life?
Guy: Yup
Guy 2: Then you can't kill yourself LOL
Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the "game"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
