Right jokes

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.

"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."

There are only women's rights causes because they leave you.

Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?

Because they were triplets!

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

"I only eat food on the right of my plate."

"Are you good at eating?"

"I'm alright at eating."

Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?

He couldn’t find the right solution.

My brothers kept annoying me.

I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

It was an empty threat—right after I was done.

Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.