Right

Right Jokes

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library, when we returned them he said “your sister works the returns right” I told him “yes she does and she will be here in about five minutes”. He said “ why don’t we put a cook book in the women’s sports section” I told him “I love it” so I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

me:*gives her 5 dollars* climb that flag pole cute female:*takes the money and goes up the flag pole* is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw *next day* heres 10 dollars if u do it again *she goes up there* me:hows the veiw *she goes home and her mom sees the money* her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right *she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties* me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:...

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A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left. The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?” The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

Son: mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me ?

Mom: no that's impossible

Son: but it is possible for your secret boyfriend right

Mom: no no please don't tell your dad i will make a strawberry cake for you

Son: daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake so because of that i felt jealous ^_^

👌😂😂😂

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When I was younger i went to an indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the Cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly". So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.

So my mom has hit me with a flip flop when i was bad and when i cheated on my girl right when the other girl came in a flip flop came flying in the room

1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

2. What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

4. What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield.

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie is the second on.” Says the sad.

So I was watching tv right? then i f..ing got banged in the eye with either a remore or metal tongs "wtf"

If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time

I'm Awake-By-watersharky- Ok,Ok OOO im so lit right now your life is so borin why you sleepin on me I can hear you snorin, AYE im so lit right now my dimons on that lit lit, why dont u just get up, Aye yea get im cause im awake boy, OOO im so lit right now your life is so borin why you sleepin on me I can hear you snorin, AYE im so lit right now my dimons on that lit lit, why dont u just get up. Aye yea get im cause im awake boy, Ok,Ok OOO im so lit right now your life is so borin why you sleepin on me I can hear you snorin, AYE im so lit right now my dimons on that lit lit, why dont u just get up, Aye yea get im cause im awake boy

A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ''Yes madam...My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher.

“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

Pin drop silence in the class !!

''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?”

“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```...!!!”

Ok ok whats up with the Fake Gwens ama use a test to see who is real or not. The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question what is my real name. And do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.