Right jokes

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

All countries will get Covid.

Except China, they got it right off the bat.

Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?

A: "Those are two nice towers right there."

I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).

It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?

Guns only have one trigger.

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

If 7 8 9 why was ten scared?

It was right in the middle of 9/11.

"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.