Right jokes

Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.

You cat to be kitten me right meow!

Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.

A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.

The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.

Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.

The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!

The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”

Tyler M is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now.

Me: Hey, I have candy.

Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?

Me: Some of deez nuts.

To RANDYYYY,

Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.

-ALYA with love

This page is for fat jokes, right? Well, I am breaking the mold! Yo Mama so fat! That's not a Joke it's True.

P.S. If your mom is actually fat, then I am sorry that I don't care.

There's gonna be 8 planets right after I destroy Uranus.

"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"

I swear your eyebrows have attachment issues, they're touching right now.

You want an insult? Right, look at the mirror.

Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."

When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?

Just barely hugging you! Lol.

Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?

Are you kidding me?!?

We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?

“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”

Yo mama so gay that she made left and right turn straight.

Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.