Ride jokes

My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!

Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.

Why do orphans hate plane rides?

Because there’s no home to come back to.

What's the difference between an orange?

A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.

Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.

What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?

Shell shock!

I was riding my bike down the road!

When a car started coming, I started running.

It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)

"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"

So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.

I love riding my bike 🚲.

A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.

Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.

The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,

The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"

Why did the orphan cross the ride?

I forgot.