Riddle jokes
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
What is playing with you?
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.