Religion jokes
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.
So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Allahu Akbar---Jalal 2019 xD