Religion jokes

If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?

Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.

Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!

If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?

That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.

Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"

Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

Knock knock, who's there? God.

God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

You can hang the picture with one nail.

What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.

When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"

If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?

What do gay guys and priests have in common?

They are both gay in their own ways.

The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.

What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?

Father Les.

What is the difference between a priest and a zit?

The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!

Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?

What do Priests and School shooters have in common?

They both blast little kids in the face.

What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?

They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

It is the only place where they can call a father.