Religion jokes
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
You can hang the picture with one nail.
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
Memes
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?
They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
It is the only place where they can call a father.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
Like if you love God and Jesus.
Why don't the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.