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Religion

Religion jokes

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

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    • Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"

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    • A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.

    The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"

    Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"

    "My penis."

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    • I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"

    Why did the orphan go to church?

    So he gets to call someone father.