Religion jokes

A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.

Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

Anonymous

6 years ago

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

6 years ago

What is God's favorite planet?

Saturn because it has a ring around it.

Anonymous

6 years ago

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

Joe90

6 years ago

Salman Rushdie got a new book out.

It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."

Anonymous

6 years ago

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

Anonymous

6 years ago

How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.

Mary_Spikedemon

6 years ago

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

RallyCat2004

6 years ago

Why did half the world go to hell? Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED (again)!

Anonymous

6 years ago

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"