Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus
The picture gets hung with one nail not two
God=what I hope to be Devil=what I can't accept
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term,"red skin appreciation".
The only difference between you and Jesus, is that jesus believed in himself.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
How did Jesus become self sovern? He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian, therefore he could never be himself.
what's better? nailing jesus or getting nailed? depends on who's sucking.
why are people mad at me? all i did was the truth, and put the bible in the fiction section of the library.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans .Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
You should always wash your sex toys, thats why priests baptise babies
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion "What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop." said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop." said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
In the bible it says Jesus died for our sins but he came back to life so what did he sacrifice? Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved they quickly resolved the threat.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
