What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?
It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!
What's your religion?
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
