New Relationship Jokes - Page 137

What is this thing with Alya and Alex?

I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.

You dirty-minded bastard!

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

Son: Dad, how was I born?

Dad: Your mum's a hoe.

Son: OK, what's a hoe?

Dad: Your mum.

Who wants to be my boyfriend?

"Alex! We need to talk! Now!"

Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.