Relationship jokes

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?

Because the chip was family size.

Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

Why don't orphans call...

Because they can't call home.

Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."

Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.

Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad.

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?

"Need help packing your shit?"

Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

I'm Joe Biden's husband.

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Why can orphans just be gay?

Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.