Red jokes
Okay, roses are red, violets are blue, Barney looks better than you.
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The third one's for you.