If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...
<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*
Now 14y.o. : Oh...
A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied "I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing"
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous? Because she blew up.
me: "comment if you love yourself and give me a reason" friends: comments give reason me: "notice how i commented nothing day later mom: let me see your tik tok me: shows her the video mom: calls suicide JK she just beat me for posting a video on her
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: he got shot
so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Why you can't kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Whybare there no pharmacies in Africa? Because you can't have medicine on a empty stomach.
I’m not saying you’re ugly, but you’re the reason God created miscarriages!
This is the Real Reason why the Chicken Crossed the Road.
Q: Why did the Chicken cross the Road
A: To Vist his Grandmother at KFC
why are people in japan so slim. bcuz the last time a fatman came the lost half their population
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.