Reason jokes
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
For some reason, quarks sound really strange to me.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
Why am I happy? I'm dead.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
For some unexplainable reason I instantly though “hmm this sounds like something for dagger”
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.
Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
Why did 10 die??
Because he was in between 9/11.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?