Reason

Reason jokes

Nun

    • Why do nuns go around in pairs?

    So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!

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    • Depression

    • Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

    Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

    AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

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    • Reason memes

    Rape

    • The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.

    During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!

    Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿

    Drunk

    • Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."

    Me: "Why did you?"

    Mom: "I was very drunk..."

    Explains a lot...

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    • Roast

    • 1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

    2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

    3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

    4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

    5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

    6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

    7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

    8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

    9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

    10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

    11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

    12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

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    • Royal Flush

    • Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

    They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

    The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."

    The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

    Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

    The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.

    The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.

    The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."

    Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"

    "Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."

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    • Cookie

    • Jayden March, a name so bold, Never knew the joy of cookies untold. In a world of sugar and sweet delight, He stood apart, an unusual sight.

    While others indulged in sugary bliss, Jayden abstained, dismissing the kiss Of chocolate chips and dough so divine, His willpower strong, his resolve intertwined.

    No oatmeal raisin or double fudge, Could tempt his taste buds, not even a nudge. For Jayden March, a different path he took, In a world of cookies, he never partook.

    His reasons unknown, a mystery untold, Perhaps he sought something purer than gold. Or maybe he craved a different kind of treat, One that couldn't be found in a cookie sheet.

    But as the years passed by, curiosity grew, Whispers of wonder, questions anew. Why did Jayden March deny such delight? Was there a secret hidden in his resolute fight?

    Some say he found solace in nature's embrace, In the rustle of leaves and the wind's gentle pace. Others believed his heart sought a different reward, In acts of kindness, love freely poured.

    Jayden March, a man of mystery and grace, Marched to a beat only he could embrace. In a world of cookies, he found his own way, Leaving us wondering, pondering day by day.

    For though he never tasted the sweetness of a treat, Jayden March's story remains incomplete. A reminder to us all, to explore and define, Our own desires, our own paths to find.

    So let us celebrate Jayden's unique choice, And listen to the whisper of our own inner voice. For in a world of cookies, may we remember, That sometimes it's the journey, not the taste, we treasure.

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