I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
Why did the orphan become a criminal? Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.
To all my bullies: don’t call me gay because I’m not happy.
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
Gemini, it is you who is trying to start such a big mess for no reason. I never said it had a charm or a lead roll. I just want love and spread kindness. PS: I use my brain. I use it all the time, just for your information. I just hope we can be friends.
Best, Gwen
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
I saw a poor man and I gave him money, and he said, "Nope, I don't need money." So I gave him money, and he punched me for no reason.
why did the orphan cross the road because he doesnt have parnets
Why did the sheep die? Cos he wasn’t pretty enough.
My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.
