Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
