Real jokes
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"
Dad: "Because I’m gay."
*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*
Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"
Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."
The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."
Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"
Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"
Son: "But it was a nightmare..."
*Dad turns into a monster*
Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"
The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.