Real jokes

What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"

That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.

What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?

Bigfoot is real.

Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”

That one kid putting Joe: -_-

Teacher: Who’s Joe?

The whole class: JOE MAMA!

So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?

One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!

Fart jokes are so popular because they are real stinkers.

Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?

BK doesn’t sell real meat.

The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.

Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.

Here are some skeleton jokes.

You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

Sans: Zzzzzzzz

Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it dude?

Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Papyus: Grrrrr....

Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.

Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.

And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.

And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

Abdi and Tunde are real.

It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.

The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."

Bro, wait, are cannibals real, though?

Anyway, my joke is if you eat yourself, are you a cannibal?

Think about it, lol. Haha.

My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.