I named my dog 5 miles so when I walk him I can say I walked 5 miles random guy: I ran over 5 miles
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked is this train running on time, I said no it runs on steam and coal
"How was your day?" "It was great" "what was so great about it?" "i saw a puppy" "awww" "and i ran over it :)"
Why did elsa dog ran away Because she let it go
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
Why did Iran, ran? Iran said "Iran away".
why did the depressed person cross the road.
to get ran over.
Why did the orange stop
Because it ran out of juice Hahhaha
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran
the emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the oreos
2 friends are talking and the one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The Friend says, "I was in my car."
I used to be a banker but I lost interest...
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
two lesbians adopted a cat that night the cat ran away why ?
because it heard one say i'm gonna eat that pussy
Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive,slipped,and said, "oh shit".
why couldn't the penguin cross the road?It was ran over🐧
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? -- Because she always ran away from the ball.
Your so scary that even your hairline ran a way
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favourite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
