Did you hear about the terrorist comedian? He was actually quite funny... He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out)
Three men die the same time and I'll go to heaven to go find St Peter St Peter says to them is going to be a long journey to heaven so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives we'll start with you Michael since you were quite the womanizer you and cheating on your on your wife multiple times you will be getting a Toyota the man embarrassed left in the Toyota Nolan you you were better you cheated on your wife twice so I will give you a Mercedes now for now as for you mark you never cheated on your wife you are an absolute saint so I will be giving you a Lamborghini and the Man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car and he and the Man in the Toyota what the hell is going on and the Man in the Lamborghini says I was through streets of Heaven and so my wife riding in roller skates
Quite Kid: *reaches into bag* Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN
Why did he quit the internet? People kept on (rick) rolling him
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared. I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her p-ssy - and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "f-ck her doggy" part either
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. 2 of my best friends have it and its actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. Its really not funny to joke about depression.
one time the quite kid hacked the speakers in a school next thing you know it pumped up kicks by Foster The People starts playing
Why did dad man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames
OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today? (Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka. (Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well I quit! (Kid) Quit What? (Bus Driver) Living. (Kid) But it was a joke! (Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die but you will still be alive. (Kid) Ok (Bus Driver) That was a joke too!
Why is falone mentally disabled?
Who knows, and quite frankly, who cares?
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
quite kid reaches down and class starts running quite kid: whats wrong pulling out my co
Children, and your meat are actually quite similar. At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Your mother is so fat she actually went on a diet and started exercising and I hear she's doing quite well now.
