Put Jokes

You call, I'm putting on

Frank (34) DJ

Whats black, white, and red all over? a penguin in a blender

Whats all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender

A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go.

A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie.. nothing much they both dribble,moan,hungry,walk weirdly and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down

🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them

What do women and KFC have in common? After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born the doctor tried to put her back in.

are you a white van because i would love to put children in you.

your hairline sucks even harry potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day and she said i could be anything i wanted to be if i put my mind to it, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it even if it's messy

Yo hairline been missing so badly, that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it

I went to my sister room one day. I see a trophy, so I ask my sister how did you won this trophy my sister said to me the neighbors gave it to me because I gave out the best hand jobs in the neighbor. I guess my sister put her hands in good use.

I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day 😮‍💨

Boobs are like batteries... AA will get the job done... C is bigger than AA... D is bigger that C... ...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!