Public safety jokes

So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"

Where are the best shooting ranges in America?

Used to be in schools, but now in subways.

Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?

Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

School's being safe.

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

Keep yourself safe!

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?

They both lay pipes in public parks.