Priest's jokes
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.