Priest's jokes

A priest walks into a wine store.

"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

Do you know where priests go at night?

To all night sale at Boys R Us.

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.

When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.

Serves him right.

Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?

So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.

What's the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.

Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?

Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.

How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.

What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?

The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.

What kind of sex do priests love?.

Nun.

A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"

I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"

What's the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits until you're a teen to cum on your face.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

What's a priest's favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe.

What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?

They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What is different about priests and acne?

Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.