Priest's jokes
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
Why is a priest different from acne?
Acne waits to come on your face.
Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
The priest had a very holy shirt.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
What do you call an orphan who became a priest?
Father-less.
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.