Play jokes
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
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Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"