Planet jokes
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
I guess Neptune is next to Your Anus XDDDD.
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
Poop fell off the earth.
Ha, Uranus face!
Not in a racist way tho.
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
What do astronauts 👩🚀 do when they’re on break?
They eat launch. 🚀🥪
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
What is the difference between the human rights act and the rights of the earth?
Human and the earth earth is a good earth 🌎 was that what time do for dinner 🍽 night night love 💗 night night fun day and dinner 🍴 night night fun day home 🏡 night is it a great 👍 home 🏡 was the day I love 💕