Pick Up jokes
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo inside you?
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
Are you a Pikachu?
Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!
Pokemon
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"