Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
