Photography jokes
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
What do you call the type of photo an orphan takes?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
What pictures did turtles take?
Shell-fies!
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?
Because they were using the computer.
What is Thanos's favorite video game?
Pokémon Snap.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.