Photography jokes
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
Yo mama is so fat, she takes her selfies in panoramic mode.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.