Pet jokes
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
I love ❤️ dogs.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
I had a horse named Mayo, and sometimes Mayonnaise.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
What's wrong with Asian pet stores?
There's no pets.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!