Pet jokes

Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!

Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?

A: It means cats and dogs can talk.

Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?

Bunny hair.

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"

Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.

Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:

Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.

(I would never do that though I love puppies)

I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pitbull in a children's play area.

I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.

What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?

An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.

I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.

The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.

Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?

There cheetah you.

I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

My dog got stuck in my ass, help!

What do you call a dog with 2 legs?

It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.

First Man: My dog's got no nose.

Second Man: How does he smell?

First Man: Awful.

If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.