Pet jokes
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?
There cheetah you.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Dog.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.