Pet jokes
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
Why did I shoot my dog?
Because it pissed me offff! Ahhhhhahahahahahahahahaha! 👌👌😎
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog night?
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
You masturbate...
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want; it won't chase you.
The fucking cat!
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
Meow meow meow meow :p