Pet jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want; it won't chase you.
The fucking cat!
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
Meow meow meow meow :p
Now their owner is dying.
HAHAHAHA
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't f***ing matter, it's still not f***ing coming.
There were ten cats in a boat, and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, 'cause they are all copycats.