Perspective jokes

Why does the sky think it's so powerful?

Because it's always looking down on us.

My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.

Then I asked him how many years ago.

He replied with, "When were you born?"

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?

Because you can’t look up to them.

I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.

Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?

Because they are really committed to their cause.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

A friend texts to another:

"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"

The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"

To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."

Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.

A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.

I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.

It's always the little things that make us laugh.

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

Yo mama so fat, I couldn't see the store.

Look at the bright side!

The worst is behind us.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Why did the midget laugh when he ran? Because the grass tickles his balls.