Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
An optimist says, "the glass is half full." A pessimist says, "the glass if half empty." A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air." Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water."
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing. The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor. In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
