Person jokes
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
Hi, my name is Jeff.
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
You're so skinny that people can't even see you.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
Raffie?
Ashton Parkes.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
No matter how black the person is, that cum will still be the whitest thing you'll ever see.