So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis, we talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing to her about being suicidal, she's been very helpful throughout it, I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
Why did hitler kill himself?
He didn’t want to pay the gas bill
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"
She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."
The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"
The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"
"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"
The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
Hookers are like drive thrus you tell them what you want, pay for your shit, and leave
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister so her got the family discount.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss
It’s true women do make less money than men But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
The Good Old Days > You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
You're cheap no one even pays attention.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.
IDK
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus? It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
wood fired pizza?
hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
please drop a like
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
My young son saw trump on TV he asked "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied "Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don't want it to rust"
Dads secretary left her position, he tole me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
