Parent jokes

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?

Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

What is the thing that orphans miss the most?

Their parents.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Toast is like parents.

If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.

So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?

What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Imagine not having parents. Lol.

It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.