Parent jokes
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.
Oh wait...
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.
I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."