Parent jokes

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

Dad jokes.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.

New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."

Student: "But!"

Teacher: "Is something missing?"

Student: "Your parents!"

What do blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Toast is like parents.

If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.

People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

Me: I saw your parents yesterday.

Orphan girl: Where?

Me: The coffin was still open.

So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?